I have been quite busy lately so I apologize for the delay posting the new blog. I decided to try something new for the blog this week. I was cleaning house going through some old paperwork I have here and came across this letter I wrote to a close friend in 2003. It is a personal letter I thought I might share as a past experience some of you dedicated runners may relate to. So enjoy. Also, since the release of Run Reckless a lot of you have been emailing asking where to get a copy of the films theme song. So feel free to email me at runfam@gmail.com and I'll email you a free MP3 of it.
"Sustain the Pain"
Time in my life is very important. It controls me and in a way I control it. Each day my every intention is to condition myself physically and mentally to defeat time. I ask myself, "How can I push myself to beat the clock? How can I get a step ahead of each second on the clock?" It is a constant struggle. One that never leaves my mind. You might think that dealing with this endeavor would make ones life rushed or speed things up somehow, but it does just the opposite.
I've learned a hard lesson over the past eight years in my career as an athlete. The lesson is simple. In order to defeat time one must start with patience. Patience is not the wasting of time, because when you become patient time becomes more valuable to you. As time passes you respect it more, miss it more, need it more, pay more attention to it and ultimately let it become part of your existence. I've had many nightmares in my life concerning time. Dreams where time stands still, completely still. Still to the point that I am no longer in motion and I cannot move, my eyelids cannot open, I'm sitting frozen paralyzed by time as it passes me. It tortures, taunts me. Let's me know who's in charge, where I belong and where I don't. My job as a runner is to get ahead of time. When I'm paralyzed like this in dreams it feels as if time has caught up to my constant pushing ahead. This is the never ending struggle day in and day out that I experience. With each new interval, every weight rep, every sit up, I push through and count down 5-4-3-2-1 until the pain ends. I push myself to meet these seconds and deal with the physical demand until it no longer hurts and I can sustain my pain though time longer. I'll tell myself, "one more lap, one more lap, push through it again." I'll go until my lungs burn, my heart aches from the pounding, my eyes tear, and I become so drained that I can't speak or walk.
I push like this because I know in my heart the pain the struggle and the torment will all pay off in the end. This is how I experience life as a runner. This is the world I live in. In my world it is important to hurt at times. Because at the end of EVERY race is achievement, especially when you work so hard to get it. The harder you work the more rewarding it is and the more successful you become.
ShareThis