mzungo.org says: We try to be a positive place (and not positive in a drug test result meaning of things). It's mainly because we hate and disrespect dopers dearly and deeply. As such, we have tried to avoid talking too much about doping or at least put it in a positive context (think Asbel Kiprop takes gold off Haschisch Ramzi). However, the follwing article about EPO cheat Liza Hunter-Galvan is - as self described - "harsh, harsh...but fair..." and so we decided to post it. It's not for the faint of heart but let's face it, sticking a needle into your arm, between your toes or whereever people put that stuff, isn't either.P.S. If you call us ambiguous for our today's Dieter Baumann header: that's a whole another issue we are certainly happy to discuss.
Here we go:
"It was always improbable that a short, squat, vaguely athletic chick named Liza Hunter-Galvan could go from being a shit marathoner runner to one of fairly decent accord at the age of 40 - and what do you know, it turns out it really was impossible.
Well, without EPO of course...
The stitch-up team was partial to this knowledge a couple of months ago, but in the vague interests of respectable sports journalism (and complete lack of knowledge regarding what legally could or couldn't be written) decided not to touch it with a 40 foot pole.
But as of today everybody knows about it, so why hold back? Don't mind if I do then good sir...
New Zealand marathon runner Liza Hunter-Galvan has been suspended for two years for an anti-doping violation.Hunter-Galvan underwent an out-of-competition drug test on March 23 with a laboratory report in May confirming her sample had tested positive for EPO. Hunter-Galvan requested that her B sample be analysed and a lab report on June 29 confirmed that sample had also returned a positive test.
She has since admitted to the Tribunal that she took the EPO.
Okay okay, so she didn't really take EPO - she took Recormon which she "heard" was a "vitamin" supplement. I guess that's believable given Recormon sounds totally like some sort of naturally derived vitamin product and all...
However after few trips to the chemist, probably a couple of hundred bucks later, a google search and a few "headaches" - it dawned on Liza that what she was doing was probably a little sinful.
Still, it was the first and only time she ever cheated - it always is right? Which of course is a little hard to really believe coming from someone who, let's cut the fucking shit here, knew exactly what they were doing all along. Kind of like the serial killer who swears the other ten bodies buried in his back yard have nothing to do with him despite the twenty severed heads packed in his deep freeze.
It's also hard to swallow given that one look at Liza and you could be forgiven for thinking she worked as a telemarketer for Electrolux vacuum cleaners, rather than being a fairly world class female marathon runner. EPO only three times? - shhhuuuurrrreeee...
The stitch-up team never liked LHG. We thought she was obnoxious, unprofessional and not very good. Major Championships were more like a fucking holiday to her than a very privileged opportunity to represent her country - a privilege very few are ever awarded. She wasn't really a true New Zealander either. After living in Tex-arse for all those years she seemed to have inherited that innate arrogance, self-inflated egotistical bullshit and social awkwardness that so many Americans seem to come intrinsically packaged with. We thought she was a bit of a cunt to be honest.
Well, the jury is back and she's not just a cunt but a cheating cunt - arguably the worst variety of cunt. Right up there with Marion Jones and Kelli White. A super cunt...
It's all the more hard to fathom given the fucking legal rigmarole this snotty little bitch put quite a few people through just to get to the last Olympics. Based on pure performance there is no way she should have been given that chance in the first place. Lucky for her someone didn't quite get the wording right in the selection policy so she collected another tracksuit and got a fully-paid holiday. Sure, this has nothing to do with drugs as at this point because we never knew - but every story needs a good dose of irony and this is about as good as it gets.
Speaking of irony - how about some macabre irony? We all had our heart strings tugged by the genuinely sad tale of her daughter who suffered serious brain trauma in an automobile accident, and how Liza was "fuelled" by this tragedy to pursue her athletic dreams. Turns out she wasn't literally fuelled by this, but by a syringe packed with Recorbin - way to shit all over that memory Liza AND all the people that took your side here in New Zealand during that whole debacle. Dude, seriously.
And way to shit all over a legacy of great New Zealand Olympic runners. As far as I know, up until today, no New Zealand Olympian that has competed in a running event has ever been caught for using performance enhancing drugs. A legacy that includes Jack Lovelock, Murray Halberg, Peter Snell, Nicholas Willis, John Walker and Lorraine Moller. A legacy that also includes many others who never quite scaled the heights those great names have done - but nevertheless put their heart and soul into representing their country, trying to beat the odds, and doing it the right way. I mean for fucks sake - you could at least have been somewhat good.
There is no politically correct way to get around describing this so this is how it rolls here at the stitch-up. Harsh? Yes - but as our 3rd (or 4th?) office aphorism goes - "It's harsh, harsh...but fair..."
Liza Hunter Galvan is not the first, last or only cheat in the world of track and field. Even though now in 99.9% of cases I am personally over caring about who or who doesn't do what in terms of drug taking these days - I do care about this. It's rude. It's shit. When it comes to our silver fern emblazoned vest getting dragged through the poop by some rude little bitch who can hardly lay claim to calling this country home anymore - it really, really pisses me off.
And if you don't agree with me - I couldn't give two fucks. Sue me."
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